Scrub Up Mumma

What did I do today?

I woke at about 6:30 am to drop my now mini me to nursery to get to work at 8:30am and pick her up from nursery after coming home from work with conjunctivitis. After forgetting to apply my eye drops every two hours whiles my munchkin demands food, I wash the dishes in hope that it’ll be the last batch of baby spoons I will ever have to wash...next joke. I then cuddle up on the sofa with a fresh bottle of milk (after cleaning my now destroyed kitchen from tonight’s dinner) and pat her back whiles she scrambles in my arms watching row row row your boat for the 25th time.

Little did I know, munchkin was not tired and decided to invade the net of balls for the ball pit. Of course she gets bored of this in approximately three seconds... so, I start rapidly scooping the balls up whiles i make a mental note of the position she is now in from the back of my head. Once I’ve cleared the space she evacuates the sitting room and is sat with a mountain of pots and pans that she’s managed to accumulate in the time it took me to walk from the sitting room to the kitchen (it’s open planned, I don’t know how she did it either) I then pick her up with my muscular right arm (the left one is just sad and lifeless now) and put the pots and pans back in with my left hand. It takes me a considerable amount of time putting them back even though it took her 0 seconds to get out.

Round 2 of attempted sleep time. I put her back on my chest patting her back as she slams her head on me every 5th second to get comfy. Aaaaand she’s off the sofa running back to the kitchen.

I am now pretending to be asleep to see if she gets the hint. It seems to be working. She is now cuddled up with bunny. I just wish that row row row your boat was slightly more inventive and the pitch wasn’t so excruciatingly high as the remote is about 3cm to far away from my hand to change the channel and f••k waking this human wrecking ball right now.

Mumma Octopus over and out.